Somewhere between missing and moving on

 You can miss what was and still be ready for what is next.

I think that’s the strangest place to be in .... somewhere in between. Not fully holding on, not fully letting go. Like your hands still remember the shape of something that’s no longer there. And you don’t even know if you’re sad about losing it, or just confused about why it mattered so much in the first place.

There are days when I feel completely okay. Light even. Like I’ve outgrown certain versions of myself, certain people, certain feelings. And then there are moments ... small, quiet, almost invisible ones .... where something pulls me back. A thought, a memory, a “what if” that sneaks in without asking.

And I sit there thinking…

how can I miss something I’m also ready to leave behind?

Ig it’s because not everything we miss was good for us.

Some things were just… intense. Or new. Or unfinished.

I think I miss the feeling more than the person.

The almost. The possibility. The version of me that existed in that space ...hopeful, curious, a little more open.

But I also know… I can’t stay there.

Because there’s a quiet kind of growth happening inside me now. Just a gentle understanding that I deserve something steadier. Something that doesn’t make me question myself this much.

And that doesn’t erase what I felt before.

It doesn’t make it fake or meaningless.

It just means… I’m changing.

 learning how to carry memories without letting them anchor me down.

How to look back without wanting to go back.

How to accept that some things were never meant to stay, only meant to pass through me and teach me something I didn’t know I needed.

And maybe that’s enough.

Shaayad healing isn’t about forgetting or replacing.

it’s about making space.

Space for new conversations, new feelings, new versions of myself that aren’t tied to who I used to be or who I thought I needed.

I can miss what was.

I can sit with it, feel it, even smile at it sometimes.

But I don’t have to live there anymore.

Because somewhere ahead of me, there’s a version of my life that doesn’t feel this confusing.

A version where things are clearer, more certain.

And for the first time, I think I’m ready for that.

Not completely. 

But enough to take a step forward.

And maybe that’s all “moving on” really is.

Not a clean break.

Just a quiet decision… to keep going.