Desi Commentary: Volume Full

 Acne, Weight, Glow .....The Desi Commentary Starter Pack

Going out in India is not just stepping out of the house.

It’s signing up for free feedback.

You don’t even sit properly and someone will scan you top to bottom like they’re doing quality check.

First stop: weight.

“Did you gain weight beta?”

“Arre you look thin… but face looks full.”

Which one is it, sir? Pick one.

Next comes acne.

“Face pe kya hua?”

As if I woke up one day and said,

“Hmm yes, today I’ll add texture.”

And they say it with concern.

So much concern.

As if my acne is personally hurting them.

Then the most confusing category: glow.

“Glow kam lag raha.”

“Last time you were glowing more.”

“Something is missing.”

Ma’am, what is glow?

Is it diet? Is it happiness? Is it inner peace? Is it turmeric?

And don’t forget the comparisons.

“She lost weight no?”

“You looked better before.”

“Hostel food kha ke aise ho gaye kya?”

Desi commentary has no off switch.

There is no disclaimer.

No warning. Just straight delivery.

And the funny part?

If you actually lose weight ....

“Arre too thin now, eat properly.”

If you glow ....

“Kisi se baat chal rahi hai kya..hmm..hmm?”

If you don’t .....

“Take care of yourself, okay?”

Okay.

I will simply exist then.

At some point you realise ....

They’re not really talking about you.

They’re just talking.

And you?

You’re allowed to have acne.

You’re allowed to gain weight or lose weight.

You’re allowed to glow sometimes and look tired sometimes.

Your body is not a public announcement board.

So next time someone starts the commentary, just smile, nod, and mentally sip chai.

Because honestly, desi opinions are unlimited .... but your peace is not.