The Tired Of Loving Temporary Things

 I don't know when it started.

When I started holding on to people like they were the only constants in a world that keeps shifting under my feet.

Maybe it’s just the way I’m built .....I get attached too fast, too deep, and then I wonder why it hurts so much when things change.

You know that feeling?

When you find comfort in someone’s presence... and then life, distance, priorities, or just plain bad timing takes them away?

It’s stupid, but I still expect things to stay the same. I still expect people to stay the same.

And when they don't...

God, it hurts.

It's like sitting quietly at a party you weren’t even invited to anymore.

I don't blame them. I never have.

But somewhere inside me, I always wonder:

"Was I that easy to leave?"

"Was I that forgettable?"

Change is supposed to be beautiful, right?

"Growth," they call it.

But why does it feel like someone’s constantly pulling the ground from under my feet?

And it’s not just about people leaving.

It’s about me changing too.

The girl who once laughed a little louder, loved a little harder, now guards herself like she’s protecting some broken treasure.

I wish I could unlearn attachment.

I wish I could look at people and not think .... "Please don't leave."

I wish goodbyes didn’t feel like they rip open wounds I didn’t even know I had.

But maybe this is how it’s meant to be.

Maybe this soft heart, this stupid, clingy love I carry ... it’s what makes me me.

And maybe, even if it kills me sometimes,

I'd still rather feel everything than feel nothing at all.